when you are writing your blog, are you predicting your future? isn’t what you’ll post tomorrow as foreordained as it is to put one foot in front of the other to walk across the room? the subject may change, but the intent has been decided; you have your tropes, rhythms, synecdoches (i thought i would never see the day that i would use ‘synecdoche’ in a sentence), just as i do: a photograph as springboard for thoughts, random or intended, memories, predictions; it is not unlike walking along the edge of a cliff. you have decisions to make; how safe will you be today, what risks will you take tomorrow, how close to the truth will you hew, how far are you willing to go to get to that truth, how much will you lie to yourself (no one who reads your words will know whether or not you’re being truthful, at least not those who do not know you well, and those that do, what of it?)
Posts Tagged ‘thoughts
i’d thought i’d tackle some big ‘idea’ this morning, but then the sun came up (as it does) and suddenly all thought of writing a manifesto for the revolution evaporated, poof!, just like that. (you can thank me later for saving you from my feeble attempts at metaphor and the grand gesture.)
the most aggravating thing, should i be so bold as to rank life’s aggravations, which i will be, bold that is, and come out (not that i’m not already out, you know) and say, perhaps exclaim would be a better choice, if you’re going to put an order to the vagaries of living that drive you crazy (metaphorically, obvsly, what i’m saying is that i’m not crazy, but aggravated, although i imagine if one were so inclined — not to be crazy about it — aggravation could be closely associated with crazy, if one were to take the meaning of crazy as a state of aggravation, but not being that one, it’s hard to say how it will be met and what meaning will be ascribed to the word–we all have our own experiences with definitions and english, god help us (if you believe in that sort of thing, god that is, not english, although for the sake of this argument–were we?–you should probably believe in english, as well as god and country–a rick perry moment if ever there one), filled to the brim as it is with subtle shades (not redundant) of meaning and innuendo, the most aggravating thing is, i’m not sure there is a most aggravating thing. surely there are times when i’m aggravated (as i was moments ago when i sat down to write this post about the most aggravating, annoying ____________), but the fact is i’m fairly certain that someone who can’t sit still (that foot tapping, jiggling leg of anxiety) is aggravating — you do notice that one’s self is never aggravating, only other people, objects, roadblocks to your serenity are truly aggravating, so the roar of the neighbor’s vacuum cleaner just as you’ve laid down to take a nap is aggravating, but could you, with a clear conscience, say it was the most aggravating thing, or only the most aggravating thing at that moment? and now that time has entered into it, it’s whole new ball game (trite phrases are also aggravating, truth be told–see you just can’t get away from it, well, i suppose if you were a henry james or a jane austen, you might not even come near a trite phrase, avoiding it like the plague [see what i mean?], but for the rest of us, it is just one of life’s many aggravations.
you know what else is aggravating? post titles that are tangentially and diametrically inconsistent with the contents of the post itself. i may be accused of that as i often have a title in mind, and it may have something to do with the photograph, it may have something to do with what i want to say, it may have something to do with the inspiration for the post or it may have nothing to do with anything, but it is something that has just come to me and i feel it’s important to get those thoughts down before they flee my peaked little brain, possibly i find it important to make those notes (and what is a blog after all, if it is not a gathering place for ideas, notes on this topic or that one, something you may reference later in a larger work or never again because you’ve forgotten you’ve written it.) if i’ve aggravated you today or in the past, please note that i will more than likely aggravate you in the future, it is in my nature to be aggravating.
the heat of a summer morning. what do you think about in the morning? do you clear your mind of the dreams from your sleep? or think about the day ahead and what you must accomplish? are your thoughts more mundane than that, perhaps about how the coffee tastes or how blue the sky is or why is the dog smelling that particular blade of grass?
do you ever wonder why? why you think about what you do at any given moment? are your thoughts just forming themselves, a little foggy at the bottom, but with the light of clarity seeping in at the top?
so. instead of what i thought i’d share with you (a project that i’ve held close to my chest for fear of spoiling it somehow by letting it be seen before its due date–whenever that is–although in my mind i see it finished, but not when,) i’m here tonight/today/yesterday or tomorrow, perhaps even next year as long as time means nothing to you, because that is true.
the rose has no agenda. it blooms when it blooms and it blooms when it blooms (the words ‘blooms’ were interchangeable with each other,) and now it is blooming, but time had nothing to do with it. unless. unless you impose your sense of time on it. your need to control everything. well. it may not be your need, you may have no control over your time. which. is a pity. not having any meaning, that is a pity (ah, but for a comma.) but where were we?
oh yes, time. your time here (but you said “your thoughts here”, which indeed is true, but that was a ruse to get your attention–and your time.)
to what purpose then? they say you can share your time with another, but that is not the same as giving them your time, because they cannot take it and add it to their own. it is still your time and you do decide how you will spend it (there is no time credit card, it is cash & carry only, oh i suppose they might accept american express, like costco, but when the bill comes at the end of the month you’d better be ready to pay.)
no. i will not be sending you a bill for your time here, although the thought did occur to me just now that that is exactly what the new journalism (the one that replaces the old new journalism) is doing. they are charging you for your time. it is your time & now you are paying for its use (by you.) which. i may accept as a new standard for personal blogs. pay me in time. (not on time, but in time, with your time, you see time is the only real currency that is left to us.) look for your statement in the mail (also on its way out of our time.)