self-portrait as st. patrick


i used to claim that i needn’t wear green to proclaim my spot at the st. patrick’s day table. besides, who doesn’t like a little pinch every-once-in-a-while? but my best st. patrick’s day memories are those of the years between 1975 and 1980 when i waited tables at arnie’s restaurant in chicago and would get to observe notable adults drink themselves silly right in the middle of the day; the zenith of which was seeing the homophobic bob irsay, owner of the baltimore colts, and a real ‘richard cranium’ (i’ll let you figure it out) passed out at his table drool pooling on the fresh table linens from his little rosebud of a mouth (so like an asshole) and the rest of his party blithely soldiering on arms around each other singing “sweet molly malone” while the smell of cabbage farts filled the air. now that’s a picture.


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© Robert Patrick, and Cultivar, 2008-2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts, photographs and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Robert Patrick and Cultivar with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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