1. the rose in this photo is called “passionate kisses”.
2. whoever among our far distant ancestors thought that putting your lips against those of another human being (and possibly slipping your tongue between their teeth, a door lock into its groove, the click of dentine softened by exhalation) would be a good way of showing your affection has my unwavering admiration and respect.
3. i am here today to disabuse you of the idea that putting an unripe avocado in a brown bag will hasten its ripening. working with the three reed avocados of equal ‘un-ripeness’ (the scientific term) that i purchased last sunday at the farmer’s market, i left one out in the vegetable bowl and put two in a brown bag, allegedly to encourage their ripening. they are all on pace to ripen at the same time; empirical evidence that the brown paper bag method of ripening avocados is bunk. (to donate funds to assist in further scientific study, please leave a comment.)