the future = what you make of it • <less what you have no control over> x your genetic make-up + who you choose to surround yourself with ÷ goldman sachs – rick santorum ± whether or not you caught the #7 train (heads or tails) (blue eyes or brown) + the name of the first street you lived on – the time your parents argued about paying for your college even though you had decided to get a degree in the humanities (pick any subject within that discipline, they’re all weighted the same) [didn’t go to college? no matter! you’re fucked no matter what choice you made.] x nature/nurture ÷ bootstrap pulling ability x your fifth grade teacher + your first cigarette/kiss/toke of marijuana/beer/hand-job in the back seat of your best friend’s car (all of which could have happened at one time) to the 10th power.
mix well, down in one gulp to avoid that nasty after taste while reading ayn rand standing on your head so that your t-shirt slips down around your upper torso and everyone is looking at your hairy belly (bonus points for the hairy belly if you’re a woman) and wondering if you’re any good in bed, ’cause, after all judging your ability as a lover is the first thing we all think about. amirite?