palms (3)

i know i shouldn’t assume, but…

there are times when i think my head will explode at the insensitivity of my fellow man.

this time it’s personal (isn’t it always?) you’ll forgive me, but i’m going to single out a group of humans — heterosexuals, let’s say, and not to generalize, i’ll select one in particular (i do worry about the rest of you, though.)

a woman that i know, close to my age, with one child and a husband, that i also know, came up to me the other evening before a committee meeting that we both serve on began and said, “i have to show you this,” and as she pulled out her phone she looked at me again and continued, “but you won’t care about this, what do you care about children?” and turned to another heterosexual standing close by and went on, “you’ll love this video of my twin nephews laughing, it’s so sweet and delightful.” she pressed the play button and i was excused.

i ignored the snub and looked anyway and said something complimentary about how cute they were; we had our meeting, we left, end of story. except it isn’t, because, for the life of me, i cannot get over how hurt i am by her assumption — gay men don’t like children — and by her insensitivity to my feelings. am i wrong to feel this way? do you heterosexuals just assume gay men/people don’t like children and don’t have any interest in the triumphs and antics of small children? don’t answer too quickly…dig deep down and examine your feelings on this topic. because, you know, you should.

the fact is i love children. children and i get along famously and always have. i’m delighted that there are people on this earth who are willing to give up so much to continue producing and raising children–many of them do this job well (and many don’t, but that’s a story for another time).

i can’t bring myself to say anything to her; usually i’m not that shy, but this time it’s really set me back. maybe one day i’ll get past it and chalk it up to the battle we are still fighting to be recognized as human beings just like you.